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Review of Gothic Amateur:

Are you the kind of person who would like to gaze upon a raven haired girl, standing on flagstone, her form half-hidden in the shadows of an ancient Scottish castle? Or taking in a scarlet-lipped pale poetess lying 'gainst a Victorian headstone, her nipples stiffened by Winter's frosty kiss?

If not, skip the rest of the review.

Gothic Amateurs is not out to curry the mainstream's favor. Its black-feathered volley is aimed at the dark masses, banned-from-the-village bourgeois who may find a home among like-minded kin. Membership in its apparent Hunt-and-Gather-Hits society is more than likely a necessity, so I'll try to ignore all the King's Reward banners and links that haunt this place.

It all toils down to a matter of taste, and as a royal servant, I have been given the conscription, wax-sealed with the ruby signet of PornLiving, to taste this cup in your stead...I will try to supress my waggish nature and take my oath seriously... O.K., the poet sleeves are off. And I suppose I'll type now, since I've never liked having to sharpen my quill set anyway.

Making its home on black background with slightly-brighter-than-blood links, this setting is not the prettiest place on the web, and a bit jumbled. You can find everything you need without a torch, but the gloom may get to the people that don't like this sort of thing.

This site is primarily photos only (around a couple thousand by my census) and the emphasis is on art, not in-your-visage spread shots. My favorite shoot had to be the castles, because let's face it, it's not every night that you see something like that darken your WindowsSill. Despite hailing from the sabled mist, you can see everything real well in here as great care is taken not only for art direction but clarity.

Webmaster Ian X is the mayor of GOTHam (as well as two other sites, Blood-Dolls and GothicUndine that will be reviewed soon) and it is refreshing to see diary entries from him and the girls that actually seem genuine. I was laughing pretty hard at him describing recent money troubles because of a nasty partnership that went south, and everyone's replies. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.

My problems with this place are only a few, but signifigant. Given the fact that the Middle Ages are over (1996), I think the people doth want some video content. There is a webcam (currently down until a forthcoming "major announcement") and such, but I want to see these girls moving. Like Lestat, it's important to latch on to current trends or risk becoming a bloodless husk, no longer having the strength to move on.

This is a bit of a minor nip, but I became wroth at one particular phantom picture set, and I say phantom because only its shadow remains. In the archive Ian actually left a set listing showing a teaser pic of him and his girlfriend being uncharacteristically explicit, then leaving the listing up with only the explanation "this was up for a month for a limited time blah blah". I'm not sure if that's way to make sure people stick around but it seems a bit cruel, bondage and such be damned.

But lesser criticisms they are. Either the poison is slow or this site checks out. For fans of the genre only. Raise your cups and partake.

BOTTOM LINE: You Won't Go Baroque

One Month- $19.95



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