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teensales.com

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Pictures: No Bonus sites: Yes Downloads: Yes
Movies: Yes Live Shows: No Formats: wmv

Review of :

You know, a few weeks ago we had another Black Friday come and go. And with it came some crazy sales. Now, for the first time ever I did not have to work on Black Friday. So I decided to join the madness and go to a computer store. It opened at 12 AM and boy was it crazy. They had all kinds of sales going on. I really didn't care for many of them, I was just there for the experience and nothing else really to do at 12 AM on Thanksgiving night. But I can say that people get crazy all over those sales. My girlfriend got ran over by a shopping cart! I'm remembering all of this now because todays site is entitled Teen Sales.

Ok, I'll be the first to admit- what a stupid website name. Not only is is dumb, but it doesn't make any sense. What are the teens selling? Girl scout cookies? Are they working in retail stores? Are they selling themselves? This is just dumb. This is a teen site with a dumb name. And usually when a name doesn't make much sense, I don't hold out much hope for the site. Teen Sales is an older looking site with a focus on teens of course. The theme has been done before, and teens is one of the few genres where we see these nonsensical sites pop up, not making much sense or having much personality. And that describes Teen Sales perfectly, so lets take a look at it.

The front page starts off with the "last updates", I think they meant latest. But maybe the last will hold true too, who knows. Anyways, we start with looking at videos (one thumb each), and then we move into pictures (even smaller thumbnails). Then there are more videos, and then stories. And then there are some bonus sites. And that is about it for this. The front page is simple, and really just a bore. It looks more like a bad previews page than an actual website front page. And where is the soul here? I have rarely seen something so shoddily put together. This site is one of the weakest on theme and soul I have ever seen, really. From the name to the site it is just pitiful. Oh well, let's take a look at it up close.

Looking at the pictures first, you aren't getting much of anything. When you go into the pictures section, you are given a page full of thumbnails. No names, no descriptions, nothing along those lines. The thumbnails you get are pretty weak. They are small and poorly done. Not a good way to represent an entire set of content. There is an old school drop down box to get from page to page, and that is true in both the galleries and in the actual sets. Did I mention the thumbnails suck? And you get the same sucky thumbnails in the sets as well. So the setup is crap. How about the quality?

This is hands down one of the worst selection of pictures I've seen ever. Now, the quality isn't terrible looking at 800 x 600 pixels. But the galleries are just, well, they are just illogical, just like the name of the site. The sets have no logical end. No cumshots, nothing like that. Sometimes the set might just end with a guys finger inside of a girl. No sense whatsoever! No storyline, no soul, no nothing! I can't believe someone would put together something this bad and illogical! What a waste of time!

The videos don't redeem themselves at all. Well, the videos I tried to download wouldn't let me watch them because of a codec error. Big surprise. The ones I did see were just as unimpressive as the videos. Hey, I've always wanted to see a fat guy with a tiny dick get a blowjob from an ugly girl. If I wanted that, I'd videotape myself having sex! Seriously, this is just bad stuff, and they advertise a "huge video archive." 22 shitty movies is a huge archive? Where the hell have you guys been?

Now, you might say, hey, with all of this shit, the girls have got to be hot, right? Nope, the girls here are substandard. While there are some that I wouldn't have to kick out of bed, others are just downright nasty. As far as the teen theme goes, they don't look particularly teenaged, but at the same time don't look older either. The action here is terrible, as I've touched on elsewhere. It's illogical, there is no really finishing, and there is no soul at all to any of these videos. Pass, pass, pass!

I did mention that there were bonus sites. They are, Hardcored Moms, Russian Paradise, Toys N Teens, and 18 Stockings. As you can see, their site naming ability didn't stop at Teen Sales. Hardcored Moms? I never thought someone could make an adjective out of the word hardcore. What a bunch of utter shit.

Conclusion

Don't even accept a free membership to this site. You will regret ever having to spend any time with this turd. Don't give any sales to Teen Sales. There, I used that name in an effective manner!

Pricing

$4.95- 3 Day Trial
$34.95- 30 Day Membership

Billing by CC Bill

2005-12-23

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