
| Review of sexy trek:
Captains log, Stardate 04310.21. Admiral PL has ordered us into an uncharted part of cyberspace. Our mission, to seek out new porn,explore strange new sites, to boldly come where no man has come before.
Dammit Jim,I'm a doctor not a Pornstar
I'll admit it now, "I LIKE STAR TREK, AND I'M NOT ASHAMED!". But I'm not a 'trekkie'. If its on the box, I'll watch it. I may even check the listings to see when the next new episode is. But that's as far as it goes. I can't speak Klingon, I don't have a Starfleet uniform and I can't do that vulcan 'V' sign. But I really do want to fuck those Borg implants out of Seven of Nine. (Obviously being cyborgs the Borg need a lot of silicon, but quite why they decided Seven of Nines chest would make a good storage area is beyond me.Not that I'm complaining)
Star Trek certainly has its fair share of totty. Uhura (To prove my non-trekkyness, I had to look up the spelling of that on yahoo) started it all back in 60's with a her short skirts. Then along came Troi, Tasha Yar and the sultry Doctor Crusher. Followed by B'Elanna Torres and her cornish pasty forehead, Seven of Nine with her spray painted outfits, and Captain Janeaway (borderline I know, but I'd do her). Finally there was, or rather still is, Hoshi Sato and T'Pol. Of course the skin tight clothes help, but there's a definite something about Start Trek women. So the chance of seeing these women, or rather look-a-likes, getting down and dirty was too good to pass up. Or so I thought.
It's porn Jim, but not as we know it
Yes they have the uniforms.Yes they have the props. But they didn't really try hard to find anyone with a remote resemblence to any of the Star Trek cast. But you could live with that if you could believe in the scenes used in the photoshoots. All the shoots are set in real-life situations, like the back yard, or someones living room, so once she's shed the uniform your left with an average naked girl playing with a vibrator. She may have started with a vague resemblence to 7 of 9, but out of uniform any likeness is gone,and 2 pages in it looks like any other porn site on the web.
When its being pushed at such a niche market actually losing its originality so easily is a mistake.The original series was built on a very tight budget, but not as tight as this site. There's not a hint of Polystyrene planet anywhere. $70 would buy you half a dozen sheets of MDF and some paint, and it wouldn't take much imagination to knock up a fake Enterprise bridge.
Altogether theres 42 sets, with 140 or so pics in each, but once you've seen half the photos in the set it's lost its' Trekkyness. Oh, and to cap it all the photo's are mostly 480x640.
4 to beam up. Energise.
4 movies. Okay, 7 if include the fact that one's been split. So in total we have 51 minutes of movie's, and poor quality movies at that. Well, not actually poor. Two years ago they would have been pretty good, but now they're just about passable
If I pay her any more Cap'n she'll blow
If old Geordie La Forge calibrated his forward sensor array to scan in the tachyon range, he might just spot an update. Although I doubt it. The last reference I could find to any updates on this site was for Aug 2003. So not only are the photo's and movies small in size and number, they don't look likely to be added to anytime soon.
Given the popularity of Star Trek and the inherent geekyness of Trekkies, Star Trek porn on the net should be a smash hit. In fact it's a dead cert,rather than the dead duck this site is. Looking at the site I can't make my mind up if it was set-up with the straight intention of ripping off people desperate to see a naked Tasha Yar, or if it was a genuine attempt to provide themed porn.Either way it's a pretty bad site, and the real inditement of it's badness is that I spent more time viewing the leased video streams than the sites own content.
If you are a really devout Trekkie,and I mean devout as in you speak Klingon,have converted your entire house into a copy of the Enterprise, bought that ridiculous Shuttle craft car off E-bay, named your newborn son James Tiberius and insist your wife gives you a vulcan mind-meld during sex then this site is for you. If however your even slightly sane, then give it miss
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
Prices:
1 month membership : 7 pieces of Gold Pressed Latinum or $39.95 per
3-day trial : $4.95
(We have marked this as a fetish by the way that might be a little misleading, but then again, not)
2004-03-11

Go to site
Comments? Visit our Discussion Forum! | 
|