Review of Lesbomat:
"Human! We used to be exactly like them. Flawed. Weak. Organic. But we evolved to include the synthetic. Now we use both to obtain perfection. Your goal should be the same as ours."
-The Borg Queen, Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
I'm pretty overheated right now. Why? I've just come from the Lesbomat.com mothership, and I've been very busy ;) They have what they claim to be "The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Machine", which, until now, I always believed was Martina Navratilova when naked and drunk, wielding a tennis racket with the dirtiest of intentions. I was wrong.
I'm going to start by saying that the layout and design is one of the best I've ever seen. To be fair, I think I do have some personal bias to it, given the fact that I'm a huge nerd and the theme is very space age. The main member launch point has this cool-ass thingamajig that is cursor-interactive, making it seem like you are doing body scans on a pair of cyber models. I must be a marketer's wet dream, but sorry, I fall for that kind of shit cause it looks neat! It makes you feel like Jean-Luc Poke-Hard, seriously. And you don't need any space captain training to get around.
To the best of my knowledge, this site launched in September 2002. That's as far as the archives went back, but given the young age of the place, it is simply amazing how much content they've been able to sock away. The videos are the best thing about the place (I always think that about every place usually), but the photos are plentiful and gorgeous as well.
Each set comes in a nice, handy little .zip file, which I think we all appreciate, and of course the standard thumbnail previews. You can expect distinct clarity here, and the sets cover a myriad of lesbian fanatasy situations. My favorite set would probably be the halcyon hillside picnic of schoolgirls...man, that is hot. These are not vidcaps, they are a treat unto themselves, and there are thousands of them updated on an extremely regular basis (they come hand-in-hand with the video updates).
The absolute shining star in this universe is the exclusive movies (that's ALL of them). Fair warning, though, you MUST have DivX player installed! I had some initial trouble, they are .aviS but they are compressed and my damn Quicktime gave me a message that said "you need additional software to run this file, unfortunately it is not available on the server". Well, no shit. Luckily the LesboMat help page is very accomodating, so I figured out what I needed and went to it.
Think of about everything you can think of involving two girls that is hot and they do that here (within reason, you freaks!). The clips average 2 minutes long at about 10-14mb a piece, but if you want to see them in whole form, you're going to have to have earned your Boy Scout Stitching Badge. All in all, you are able to jack into about 96 exclusive videos (that's not a clip total!). I also don't think any horny bastard in their right mind will mind being overrun by these ladies- the models are truly choice here without exception, every cinematic element carefully framed for maximum effect on the pathetic humans that get snared into this sin-thetic web of sapphic lust. Here's what the site has to say about the girls:
"These carbon-based human girls are ensured to have minimal silicone content. Manual breast resistance tests have been conducted on every one. Each of these human specimens has been hand-picked by Denys Defrancesco, the world's leading pornographer."
I'm trying real hard to come up with a negative here and it's just not working out for me. Extremely light on ads, no hard-sell porn peddling, one of the most unique designs I've seen yet, a harddrive's worth of crystal-clear content, um. Nope. It's awesome. O.K., I think the main detraction would probably be the "extras" category, but to be fair, I was happy about what I got, and there is no danger of running out of new stuff (updates are Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays). If you can honestly tell me you don't like the site, I'd be shocked. And immediately begin running tests on you.
BOTTOM LINE: Prepare To Be ASSimilated
One Month: $29.95 (recurring)
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