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chloejones.com

  • Visit Chloe Jones

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Pictures: Yes Bonus sites: No Downloads: No
Movies: Yes Live Shows: No Formats: Windows

Prices: Limited Trial: $4.95/5 days
$29.95/30 days


Review of Chloe Jones:

I think Chloe Jones works very hard at her trade (fucking).

She's a well-known PornStar, doing what she does best, but whoever holds the job title of "Content Decision-Maker" isn't holding up their end of the bargain here. Maybe somewhere, but not here. The design team is doing a dandy job, this place is an airbrushed beauty (if you like that sort of style), but the polish of the layout really just functions as a heavily-applied concealer to a wide variety of blemishes.

Let's study a few sets in the photo section first (average-to-crap): Only 85 (!) pictures in the Hardcore area, of medium quality at best. The "Glamour" section? 87 pictures of middlin' quality, very little variety, I mean at certain points it resembles all the snap-to-snap difference of a Steamboat Willie flip-book (but with color, and much nicer tits, of course). Shall I continue? Somebody has to continue, since the members over here seem to be getting continually screwed (there's some good forum bitchin' over there I noticed). The Amateur area. "Amateur" should never be code for "crap". They have not learned this rule here yet, breaking this sacred edict roughly 192 times. Chloe's beauty is unquestionable, but Helen of Troy couldn't make me satisfied with this stuff.

The Video section in this mess of (few) thrills and (mostly) spills fares a little better. A little. The sound on the .MPEGs and .MOVs (saveable) are good, but the clarity never really reaches that primo level. Not like it should. The streaming stuff? Pixelation city. At full-screen, it would be like a titty-fied version of Atari's Missle Command from 1982 that inspires only the firing of blanks. Live chat and cams are down, the third-party stuff has too dominating a role, and the movies are just sub-standard in the inspiration department at times. For the exclusive movies, not counting what we consider to be filler, you get about 10, and are not marked with any kind of date (the field that is meant to be time-stamped is inexplicably filled with "1"'s). So of course you can get no sense of the updates, which I think would be pretty important since this is the kind of thing you came (and come) for, a little calendar prediction device that is vital to members.

You also better click with precision, if you don't you'll be slammed with some pop-ups here and there. There's some cross-promotional stuff, etc. Not too heavy, but enough to cause some minor irritation. The Friends section of pics and the pal's involvement in the vids are cool, but there is some you-scratch-my-clit, I'll-rub-yours kinda stuff going on which is just the thinly-veiled capitalistic "buddy system" of Porn that is quite common, I guess.

The funny thing going on with this place is that there has been a takeover by the people behind ClubJenna.com, a very nice and quality site (you can read our review of ClubJenna here: http://www.pornliving.com/rev/149/clubjenna.html ). So what gives? Who knows. Must have been a few bumps on the burm of Hump Highway apparently, and that must be the reason they tease you with a fruitless Pam and Tommy link ("Coming Soon"...thanks.), an "All About Chloe" area that is empty, missing or half-assed things all over the place that should be stocked to the nines...

But you can be damn sure the STORE is up and running! Sigh. And get this: The $4.95 3-day trial only lasts for 2(!) days. I'm not kidding.

This place has potential, but right now it's not meeting it in any way...so we're going to have to recommend a big "Steer clear!" until the dust settles.

BOTTOM LINE: Ms. Jones Needs Some More Things Going On

One Month: $19.95 ( I just had to kill a pop-up at the sign-up page. I'm not kidding.)

-S-

2003-04-01

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