| Review of Lady Madeleine:
In ancient times, our ancestors adorned themselves with seashells to decorate and differentiate themselves in those early societal structures.
Fast forward to 2003: A smiling, on-the-wane German model greets you with a broad smile and burgeoning, strained labial lips...Translation? Her freaking pussy is weighed down with so much unwieldly, heavy jewelry that it has to hurt, and hurt so good. It must feel good, unless she normally smiles while recreating the pain of an OB/GYN visit. But I guess speculums aren't this pretty.
I'm not gonna fuck around here, this site in my opinion is a big fat piece of shit. Eloquent, huh? Sorry, but I'm not gonna try and shine one on for this place in the least little bit because it's a rip-off. Now, to be completely fair, and with full disclosure....fooled you, huh? You thought I was going to say "I don't really get into body jewelry" or some such thing...or "I have a bias against models over 45" or something like that, right? Well, O.K. I do have a big bias. Are you ready?
I have a bias against porn sites that charge people almost $40 (that's right, $40!) A MONTH and in return, give their customers some of the shittiest video quality out there. It's all converted VHS crap from their prior library I'm guessing. You cannot save this stuff either, because, for whatever reason, they are greedy with it. Maybe if I could download the actual jewlery we might have a deal, but don't hand us this. You can't charge people this amount of money for, among other things:
Not enough pictures. Grainy quality throughout. As much as they charge for this site you would think they could invest in a better camera(?). Many of the sets feature tightly-corseted women, which apparently is a major fetish to many people, and I would applaud that if some of the pictures were a bit more inspired and had some semblance of decent quality.
By the way, the background to this site looks like an extreme close-up of a golden bowling ball. I shit you not. They obviously put the gold there to lend it some type of "rich look" or some such nonsense, but nothing could look cheaper. Ordinarily I would go easy on something like this, but in this case it's just real hard on the eyes. It doesn't help when you think of how much they charge to join, and upon arrival, ending up in some gold lamet nightmare. No thanks.
The background music to the videos is cool, though. Sounds like Jan Hammer...seriously. Why modernize that part when you barely update as it is? Let's keep with theme, right?
The only thing this site has going for it is all the fetishistic stuff. But even the proportionately small cross-section of folks that would dig this place deserve better. Better value, better content, and for pete's sake, a different background color.
BOTTOM LINE: Leave this Jezebel for the dogs
$39.99 monthly
-S-
2003-01-25
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