| Review of Minivan Mommies:
"She's gonna take out my mini van" - to me, a classic quote from the dark comedy Very Bad Things. Just another movie that embraces the perception of minivan owners as bored domesticated humans from the burbs. The minivan is also commonly associated with soccer moms and who does not want to be associated with mature women like that? In other words, another item has thrown it's hat in the ring to become the ultimate logo for MILFs. The apron has been singing it's own praises for a while along with glasses and a business class suit. Who knows who the victor will be, but this site's aim to make you think of horny housewives every time you see a Volvo pass you on the street. Yup it's another MILF (Mothers I'd Like to Fuck) site where the creativity seems to have stopped with the word "minivan".
Yes I got it, mothers are horny, I've seen it for myself on the world wide web and I've seen it many times. I know they get lonely when the kids are at school and the husband is at work fucking his Mistress on his lunch break. I also know what they do to rid themselves of their boredom, they call "some guy" to come over and fuck them. The guy can be anyone really, from the pizza guy to the plumber to one of her sons college buddies, the point is, she's mature, a mother and she's horny as hell. This must be how it works all over the world because the women on this site are all just like that, the are bored, call for a guy or they go outside to the gardener and flaunts their pussy, heck maybe even the pool guy.
Yes I know these are all very standard porn setups and for a gonzo site, trust me, I think it's alright and I'm not picky about a plot per se. It's just that every other thing about this site screams generic and cookie cutter porn site from the second you log in. The content is served up without a decent "presentation" of each episode, just a random screenshot from the video and the name of the woman in it. Don't get me wrong I am thankful for the hardcore porn but when it's just slapped in my face like this I feel like I just bought a porn movie on VHS from 1992 and paid full price. Sure I'll get a wank out of it, but I'll be out looking for a new fresh stylish porn DVD the next day.
The reason that not every episode is uniquely presented with a title, description or even high quality picture, is probably because the producers run this site and like 35 others. This is bound to bring more focus on quantity than quality and for those who prefer the one over the other, you will not care when I tell you that your membership to Mini Van Mommies gives you access to all 35 original sites. This is a big pro for this site in regards to content, if we count all the exclusive bonus sites as well. When looked on as whole the network caters to a boy/girl hardcore audience with sub niches such as: interracial, mature, teens, gangbang, asian, latina, booty and other classics. This all adds up to a lot of content, but it doesn't get the coupon taste out of my mouth.
Each video is packed with hardcore goodies action that is preceded only by a 1-2 minute setup i.e. the call for a man or going outside to the gardener to get her flower moistened. The women actually fit the site's niche and theme better than I expected. I usually have a blast counting the women I've seen on teen sites the same year now dressed up in a suit with glasses and red nail polish to be "mature". With minivanmommies.com I found that the women here fit the fantasy pretty well, and it's a shame this site pays no real mind to quality.
Every episode has to be downloaded in segments. I thought we were over that hump by now, especially on bit networks like this but for some reason that have chosen not to make a "complete episode download"-link available. I cannot stress how annoying it is to be beating the meat and be interrupted because the clip is over and you have to download/switch to the next one. Granted you can do the work and download all segments and queue them up in your favorite video player but when push comes to shove it's just another thing that this site could have cared about but doesn't.
For each set of videos there is also a nice set of still photos instead of screen caps. That's kind of a nice break from the whole "we just gotta churn this out"-ideology that the rest of the site signals. Of course it's not pro glamour photographs you can expect, actually they can range from nice in focus pictures to a blurry mess but this is mainly because the sets have not been quality filtered by anyone. Overall these pictures are a nice addition though.
Something that really discouraged me from downloading too many videos here is the fact that download accelerators are not supported and neither is the resuming of downloads. I don't think this is done on purpose but the sites uses a security module named Strongbox and by default download accelerators are not supported however it can be setup to do so. Not that the video files are that big because quality isn't really on par with today's standards. Highest quality wmv video is 400 by 300 pixels in resolution with a 1000 kbps bit rate. They name this quality level "hi", I would say medium. It's kinda like you know when you are at the movies and you order a medium coke, only to realize how fucking huge those cups are and you are like "this monster of a cup is a medium". Now with these videos you get the same kind of experience except now it's more like ordering a big glass of beer at a fancy restaurant to help you get toasted only to realize you'll still be legally allowed to drive the car home instead of the wife.
To sum things up a bit about this site. It appears to be updated with a new episode once a month, that's how it seems right now but honestly it might just be a sporadic update schedule, as of now I would say, at best a new segmented video arrive once a month. The whole members area is covered in ads with everything from porn sites to dating services, heck there's even an ad for their own porn review site ;)
The Bottom line
This is a cookie cutter MILF site that really plays more on the network of sites and thereby quantity of videos combined more than anything else. As a MILF site goes this one is just a bit blah.
Pricing
$4.97 - 3 Day Trial. then $34.97 every 30 Days After
$29.97 - 30 day membership recurring
$59.95 - 90 Days Non Recurring
Processing by Epoc and CCBill
2007-09-10
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